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"I have been a twelve-month married, and married alas! to one far beneath you in every way." Ellen's Diary, January 8th,1839 - A letter from Melmouth Hall
Temple Bar. January 5th, 1839. I have that to tell you, my dear parents, which I fear will startle and grieve you much, which instead of being as usual a cause of rejoicing is one for regret; which will shake your trust in me, and prove me in the chief act of my life wanting in that duty and affection towards you, which it should have been one of my greatest cares to have shown in the least. I have done very wrong. I have acted an unwise and inconsiderate part. I have shown by concealing from you what affects you so nearly, that I have not in you that confidence which should ever be a bond of union between parent and child. But I now hasten to make the fullest reparation in my power. The thing is done, and nothing remains but to own the circumstance and meet your rebuke with patience and humility. But be not hard upon me. It is now known at Temple Bar, and I grieve to say I have forfeited the hard earned good opinion of my uncle. To whom then but to my parents should I look for sympathy? To whom but my parents and to my sisters, the companions of my childhood, should I pour out the tale of my hopes and of my fears, of my joys and of my sorrows? Of whom should I ask for forgiveness, but of you, on whom I have entailed so much vexation and so much sorrow that I should have shown so little candour, so little judgement, so little love in concealing from you, my parents, that you have another daughter, from you my sisters, that your brother is married. Yes, it is indeed so, and for your sakes most cordially to I wish it were otherwise. But the time for concealment is past. I have been a twelve-month married, and married alas! to one far beneath you in every way, to one who is wholly uneducated, who can in short hardly read and write. She was left an orphan at a very early age, and her step-father and mother behaved very cruelly to her, affording her little besides food and clothing. But she has naturally very good talents and excellent memory, a sweet disposition and an eager desire to qualify herself as soon as possible for an admission to the society of her husbands relatives. The worst part of my task is now over. I have told you and Sydney and Charles, and as I have said before, my uncle. Do not, then, think worse of me than my folly calls for, and let me hear, I need not say quickly, that you all forgive me (I can scarce forgive myself for causing you pain) and that my wife and myself will be welcome, warmly, heartily welcomed when next we meet. Poor girl! She is sadly distressed at the thought of your not receiving and treating her kindly. Believe me ever your most affectionate son and brother. Melmouth
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